The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. The latest Narnia movie. I am speechless. Do these screenwriters really think they are better storytellers than C.S.Lewis? Really? They can't even write single lines better than C.S.Lewis!
I mean - let's get things out of chronological order, skip the really important stuff, change up some locations, create some lame characters that NEVER appear in the book and are barely touched upon in the movie except to confuse people, and drop all attempts at humor and charm! I mean - if you can't portray the Dufflepuds as funny then you are totally hopeless! It's all there in the book - just stick it on the screen! And what's with the green mist!?/!!! GREEN MIST?!! And the MINOTAUR?! There was no minotaur on that ship! There was barely ever a minotaur in Narnia at all! Maybe one! As if there aren't enough exotic creatures?! Furthermore, they totally blew off the political intrigue/maneuverings in the Lone Islands scene and supplanted them with just another ol' stupid sword-fighting thing, they got the end all wrong, and please - explain the 7 swords?! Somebody - please?! What 7 swords? "Gotta find the 7 swords!" This ain't Lord of the goddam Rings, ok? If they're so important, can you maybe devote a little more time to them? Maybe some background?! Oh, I'm sorry! THERE IS NO BACKGROUND - IT DOESN'T EXIST! And the sea monster was dealt with in the most charming, funny way in the book - not some CGI bloodbath like they had here! This must be some lame, far too serious and self-conscious attempt to deal with a story that is about a Voyage, a Journey, an Odyssey, characters, people, creatures - with no major, gory battles in it! (I guess a few skirmishes are not enough!) So let's make some up! Who cares if we destroy the story in the process! Sell some box office! Awful! I'm going to go read the book again. Maybe go see The Tempest again. Now, that's a movie.
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